EXPAND TO READ: MATTHEW 10 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verses 19-20): I do struggle with this topic quite a bit since coming to faith, I suppose because I am still stuck in my old fleshly ways, often dipping into my fleshly pride. You tell us here to not worry about what to say in the moments when we are being interrogated, argued against, or challenged. You tell us that You will provide us the words to say through the Spirit. Unfortunately, I have been known to react in anger, often giving into my fleshly words instead of leaning on Your words to speak. Please forgive me for this, Father. Help me to live in our relationship so intently and strongly that when times like this do arise, I no longer give into my fleshly response and instead lean on You for understanding and the words to speak. I am often fast to speak and respond, but I have noticed that in those times where I’m slow to speak, I do a much better job at relaying Your message and not my own. Help me to do this more often, Father.
PROMISE (verses 34-36): This promise absolutely astounds me. For some reason, I feel like I’ve read these verses before but likely glanced over it or didn’t understand the true meaning behind it. You are often referred to as the peacemaker in this world by Christians, yet here is a clear example of that not being Your primary purpose or possible any purpose at all. You made a promise to Your disciples that You are not here to bring peace on this earth, nor should they even assume so. You assure them that Your purpose was not to bring peace, but to bring a sword. You came here to turn siblings against each other, family members against each other, etc. Not in a “war” type of way, but in a spiritual way. Your purpose is to bring people to You and our Father’s kingdom, which will cause tension and conflict amongst even the closest of people on this earth. You aren’t here to bring peace between them if there are differences in beliefs towards You. As Christians, we stand together under our belief in You, but sometimes that will produce some conflict and tension between us and non-believers or maybe believers who have strong convictions which may be false in Truth about who You are. Thank You for this promise and clarity on who You are, Jesus. Thank You for not being a peacemaker, rather being one who is going to battle every day for those who follow You!
ATTITUDE (verses 19-20, 34-36): I do struggle quite a bit at times with trying to be the peacemaker, but then also trying to always dig into my flesh during disagreements. You didn’t ask me to do either of these. You asked me first to lean on the Spirit for the words to speak, which I have struggled with quite a bit since coming to faith. This can only be made stronger and more consistent through the building of my relationship with You, so I must be more proactive in the growth of our relationship. Additionally, You tell us that You are not here to be a peacemaker, but to be a sword. If I am to follow Jesus’ example in this life of true, pure, and perfect righteousness then this would also apply to me. I am not on this earth to bring peace to ALL of those around me. I’m here to spread Your truth to all while also ensuring I am fully prepared at all times for the spiritual warfare that is ongoing. Help me to live in these attitudes, Father, so that as I go out into this world, I am slow to speak and strong to fight for Your kingdom in Heaven!
COMMAND (verse 29-31): I find what You say here reassuring about the value You place on Your true followers, which also ends with a clear command. You tell Your disciples that sparrows are sold two for a penny and then go onto say that they are worth far more than many sparrows to You. This was all given as an example so that they would not fear anything that may happen in this world as they proclaim Your name and Your truth to the world. The command is for us to not be afraid because no matter what happens on this earth, no matter what value other people on this earth place on us as believers, You place a far higher value on us throughout all of our faithfulness. As a result, there is no need to be fearful of anything this life may have in store for us. I needed this because I do have some fear inside of me leading up to my military retirement and finding that next career. I do have some fear that I won’t find a job in time which I can support my family with. I do have some fear that I will not be as successful in my profession outside of the military as I have been within the military. Help me to cleanse all of these fears, Father, because Your command here is to not be afraid because I am worth more than many sparrows!
EXAMPLE (verses 1, 8-10): I love that You gave Your disciples authority to perform miracles in Your name as well, but in this example, it came with some instructions. Essentially, Your instructions to them when granting them this authority was to stay humble, do not expect or require to receive anything, don’t even carry anything as the Lord will provide for all their needs. I often go into situations lacking humility and expecting a return to myself for whatever I’m doing. That’s not what You want of me. You want me to walk in my faith with an attitude of humility and with zero expectations of a return as I am doing whatever I’m doing for You and not for myself. My return is my entrance into Heaven through my belief in Jesus. That is more than enough for anything You ask me to do, because there’s absolutely no way I could enter into Heaven by the old laws. Thank You for this great example, Father, that even the Disciples needed to hear. Your closest, most faithful followers still needed to be given some warnings and instructions when going out into the world on their own. Seeing that even they needed this does give me encouragement that I do not need to be ashamed for all my weaknesses and mistakes in this life, nor do I need to allow those to become my identity anymore. Thank You, Father!
*DAILY NOTE: Jesus gave His disciples some authority but made sure to give some clear instructions and warnings along with that authority because God’s authority in this world should not be taken lightly. I don’t know what authority You’ve granted me, if any to be honest, but I do know that I am trying my best to represent You well moving forward. I am far from perfect and that’s okay, because obviously even those closest to You, whom You deemed as Your disciples, struggled in their lives occasionally. If even those who were walking this life alongside You struggled, then how much better am I doing with my struggles through simply belief and faith in You? I know it’s not a comparison as every person is different, but it does make me feel better and give me hope that Your closest disciples had struggles similar to my own, so why do I always hold onto my shame, pride, anger, and such due to those mistakes of my own? Help me to always keep looking towards You, Father, and to always keep moving forward in my faith in the way that You want me to in this life.
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
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