EXPAND TO READ: HEBREWS 13 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verse 4): I have made so many mistakes in my life, Father. One of those mistakes that I have carried so much guilt and remorse for so long for was prior to coming to faith in the physical side of things but resumed in my thought life for many years since coming to faith. Please forgive me, Father, for the hurt and pain I caused my family through my adultery before coming to faith. I fell into many traps from the enemy, who led me down a long and depression-filled road, instead of cherishing what I had sitting in front of me. Even though I did not physically commit adultery since coming to faith, I did so many times in my thought life through porn and lusting over many women that crossed my path time-and-time again. I have gotten far better with my thought life as of late as I have been porn-free for many months, but I do still struggle every so often with lustful thoughts of other women that cross my path at times. Forgive me for these weaknesses and transgressions, Father. Help me to release this heavy weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for so long, even though I have already told my wife about it all and we have worked through all of that. Help me to release the guilt and remorse I still feel for what I’ve done, but also the anger and disappointment I feel towards myself for allowing me to do the things my earthly father did to our family before leaving us. I promised myself I would never do the things he did, yet I have found myself falling into those same tendencies along the way with the lust, anger, and irritability that my earthly father had. Help me to be better for You, for my wife, for my kids, and for myself, Father, so that I may continue to become a better, more righteous man that has been released from the weight and burden of all the mistakes I’ve made in the past that I still hold onto to this day.
PROMISE (verses 5-6): I am so grateful for this promise and I know it’s very true because looking back I can see You were ALWAYS there for me even if I was not always listening or looking in the moment. You promise us that You will never leave or forsake us. You promise us that You are our help and that we do not need to be afraid. Thank You for this promise, Father. Thank You for always being there for me, even when I am too stubborn, selfish, or immature to recognize You in that specific moment. You have never and will never give up on me, even though I have faltered so many times in this life and I am so grateful for that promise. It assures me that no matter my mistakes, You are always there to provide me with comfort, grace, support, and counsel. Thank You.
ATTITUDE (verses 1-2): I used to be great at this attitude before the trials and difficulties I faced while stationed in Germany. I was very outgoing, showed brotherly love to far more than I do now, and was extremely hospitable and caring towards others. Ever since the negative experiences I faced in Germany that I allowed to dwell in me for so long, I have slowly but surely become one that is closed off, isolated, and unwilling to be hospitable towards others most of the time. Help me with adjusting these attitudes back to the man You intended me to be, Father. Help me to embrace an attitude of brother love and of a hospitable nature. Help me to revert all of the pain and brokenness that has led me astray for far too long, so that I can begin to allow You to mold me into the man You intended me to be. Help me to accept the grace to live righteously in this life, so that I may glorify You through all that I am and do.
COMMAND (verse 5): I will admit, even though You already are well aware, that I have definitely fallen into this pitfall many times throughout my life, even since coming to faith. You command us to be free from the love of money, but also to be satisfied with what we have. There have been far too many times to count in my life that I have purposely gotten into more and more debt so that I could have more material things than I needed. There have been so many times that I have lived paycheck-to-paycheck just so that we could live a more lavish life than we could actually afford. Please help me to be better at following this command, Father. Help me to live this life according to this command, so that money and material things are not my treasure. Help me to put You above all of this at all times, instead of allowing temptation, jealousy, and envy to win in my heart.
EXAMPLE (verses 15-17): The example You give us to live by in these three verses is exceptional, but also ones that I have failed at many times over in my life since coming to faith. The first example to live by is to continuously offer up to You a sacrifice of praise. Many times throughout my life, I have praised others and even myself more than You for the things that have occurred in my life, which is not how I should be acting. I should always be praising You through all things in this life, whether they are considered good or bad in the moment. Additionally, You tell us to do what is good and to share, because this is pleasing to You. Although I have been far better at this way of living and openness lately, I did struggle throughout most of my faith with this. Continue to work in me, Father, so that I may be more pleasing to You as I mature in my faith. Last, but certainly not least, You tell us to live our lives in obedience and submission to our leaders. I do not know why, but I have struggled with authority so much throughout my life, especially when their requests/demands go against the way I think things should be done. This has caused a lot of stress and turmoil in my life as well as a poor attitude oftentimes towards them. Help me to be a better servant to those appointed over me, Father. Help me to be better at voicing my opinions on matters without being harsh or completely disobedient to them in the moment. You have given me so many experiences in this life that are great for me to share with others, but I need to learn to share them in a way that is not combatting or argumentative. Continue to mold me to be a better communicator in the way You want me to be, Father.
*DAILY NOTE: Hebrews 13 and the entire book of Hebrews has been so powerful for me personally. Every chapter has spoken loudly to me and to end the book of Hebrews in this way, with how loudly Hebrews 13 has spoken to me, is a blessing. Thank You for this relationship with You, Father. Without Your amazing wisdom and great counsel, I would be so far more lost than I am today. I do still have a lot of work to do that will likely continue until I join You in Heaven, but I am so grateful for the progress You have made in molding me into the man I am slowly but surely becoming. Thank You for all the direct and meaningful lessons You have provided me in my quiet time today. Thank You for working so diligently in me now that I’m actually willing to listen and embrace Your instruction. Thank You for this relationship and the constant conversations You’ve had with me through Your word and my prayers. I am grateful for all You have done in my life and inside of me personally. Please continue to heal me, mold me, and build me up into the righteous man that You intended me to be, Father.
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
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