EXPAND TO READ: DEUTERONOMY 19 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verses 4-6): I feel in my heart that You are speaking to me today about my earthly father with these verses. My earthly father was convicted of manslaughter many years ago and I am finding it difficult to forgive him for that amongst other things. In these verses, however, I see that if someone performed a heinous act by accident, such as manslaughter, that we are to not hold it against them as no hatred was in their heart at the time to intentionally perform the act. Only You know what really happened in the moment with my earthly father but based on what was spoken of in the public courts side of things I see that from his perspective it was not planned nor intentional. I am to believe him based on Your truth and forgive him for his transgressions. I say all this to say that I do hold a hardened heart against my father both for this as well as my upbringing with the many voids he left in my life with him not being there. This is not the way You have asked me to live out my faith, Father. All the grace You have shown to me for my own transgressions and I’m sitting here struggling to show my earthly father the same grace even in the slightest. Help me to heal from these hurts and pains, Father. Forgive me for not bringing this fully to You sooner. Help me to recover and attempt to restore the broken relationship with my earthly father in a way that You are glorified, Father.
PROMISE (verses 18-20): The promise I see in these verses is one I wish modern society would abide in, but I often see this failing due to pride, stubbornness, and egos. You promise that if we do our due diligence with investigation and stick to the facts, then we announce all of that to others by holding those responsible accountable for their actions, then they will no longer transgress wrongs in the same way. Unfortunately, I often see society sticking to their ways no matter the facts put before them. Even spiritual people when shown Your truth, will often still stick to their personal opinions out of pride and/or selfishness. I have been guilty of this at times as well. Help me to be better at leaning into the facts and truth as much as possible, Father, by doing a thorough investigation as You have said here, so that as I go to make a judgment call on something it is according to Your truth and Your way of understanding, not my own.
ATTITUDE (verse 10): If I am to live my life according to Your truth, then I must live in an attitude that is just and fair. You tell us here that we are to ensure we’re following Your commands and understanding Your truth, so that innocent blood will not be shed and I, myself, will not be guilty of bloodshed. This can apply to far more than just the example of manslaughter which You’ve given here. It can apply to pretty much every facet of life. If I am to abide in Your will for my life, then everything I say and do needs to be from You and not from my flesh. If I am to live in an attitude of being just and fair towards those around me, then in no way should I be leaning on my own understanding of the events. Rather, I should be leaning on You even more in those moments to ensure I know what Your understanding and perspective is of those events so that I do not deviate from Your will for my life. Help me with embracing attitudes of justness and fairness as You have shown to me, Father.
COMMAND (verse 9): Your command to follow here is a “simple” one to put into words, but I have found it to be a difficult one to fully follow due to my own flesh and weaknesses. At the same time, it’s one that is repeated quite often throughout scripture. Your command is for us to love You with all we are and to walk in Your ways at all times. First and foremost, I’m to love You with all that I am but also as my number one priority in this life. I have lived out of balance for a LONG time. As soon as I started to get things even the slightest in balance, all things began to change for the good in my life. Thank You for reminding me to keep things in balance in my life, Father. Help me to be better at loving You. Show me what it means to truly love You with all that I am, Father. At the same time, continue to remind me of the things I need to change so that I can also follow the second part of this command—to walk in Your ways at all times. I do struggle with my “habits” and I want to change many of my old, fleshly habits to new ones which abide in Your will for my life. Unfortunately, I am stubborn and for some of them I don’t even know if they are good or bad habits according to You because I am still learning. Continue to teach me about Your ways, Father, so that I can mature both spiritually and in this life according to Your truth and Your will for my life.
EXAMPLE (verses 4, 10, 16-20): I really do love the example You give in these verses on how we are to be just and treat those on both sides of judgment, whether guilty or innocent. You first give an example of manslaughter and how if the person had no ill intent in their heart, yet a terrible act was committed on accident, then we should not hold any negative judgment towards them. On the flip side, however, if someone is blatantly and obvious guilty of ill intent in their heart, then we are to ensure they are judged according to the crime committed. The morale to this example is that we are to do our due diligence to determine the truth within our means, then judge according to the heart’s intent of the person being judged not according to the act they committed. Help me to be better at judging things based on the heart’s intent, Father, and not solely by what’s on the surface.
*DAILY NOTE: I do need to work on my relationship with my earthly father and the hardening of my heart towards him. You are reminding me of this today as I have been stubborn towards this topic for a LONG time, unfortunately. If his heart is in the right place and trying to live in Your will for his life, then why am I still judging him based on the past and what’s on the surface? Why am I so hung up on holding things against him when he was at his lowest in life, struggling to even live a life worth living? If others held me to my mistakes the same way I hold him to his, then I would be an outcast from all those whom I love so dearly. Help me to change, Father. Help me to soften my heart towards my earthly father. Help me to no longer hold things against him so that I can release all of these emotions I’ve been holding onto for so long in a healthy way according to Your will for my life. Help me to embrace a restored and renewed relationship with him in the way that You want me to, Father. Remind me constantly throughout all of this that my purpose in this life is not to glorify myself, but to always seek ways to glorify You. Thank You for today’s tough conversation, Father. I needed this. Even though the chapter didn’t talk specifically about fathers, as soon as I saw the word manslaughter, I knew exactly what You were trying to speak to me about today. Thank You for opening my eyes to see Your truth and my ears to finally listening to what You are trying to say to me, Father. Help me in this difficult journey I’m proceeding to go on with my relationship with my earthly father and thank You for the convictions on my heart to get me pointed back in the right direction.
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
Comments